tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-353143852011-06-08T01:10:05.367-04:00wishes and thoughts here and there.tiny dancernoreply@blogger.comBlogger451100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-56594838825737554562008-12-19T00:13:00.004-05:002008-12-19T00:38:44.696-05:00

i'm convinced we know nothing. and we seek others words and opinions to help us understand or know. but in the end- truth only comes from deep down. not from opinions. maybe love is truth. and thats why it feels so beautiful and hurts so, so bad. free minds. free love. free truth. how funny to live life respecting and trusting your instincts, while at the same time having another life inside who

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-75902086093913525192008-11-28T23:25:00.003-05:002008-11-28T23:49:21.594-05:00

really? almost an entire month has gone by? i dont understand. but it gives me hope that i can handle the next month. not handle- love and enjoy and LIVE in it. every second. but i know something that is going to be missed....in the next month. or two. or who knows. its the who knows that gets me. i want to know. and i dont want to know. and then i am reminded....by the wisest people i know of

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-9108692248142553332008-11-02T01:11:00.005-04:002008-11-02T01:29:12.312-04:00

its a situation you feel like you have been in before but its just slightly different as situations usually are as you recognize them throughout the life. and you reflect, realizing you must have learned from it last time....but confused as to how to deal with it this time. do the little things make that much of a difference that you can't figure out how to deal? or do you care more this time

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-70269127050452163812008-10-21T18:33:00.002-04:002008-10-21T19:12:56.590-04:00

i feel like i want to graduate to a new blog. or something. its been a while since i've written steadily. i know its not for lack of material, emotion or experience. maybe it was summer vacation and i'm in a new grade. whatever it may be, its all begun again, i believe. i mean, why not? i haven't really a clue whats happening in life- ok i actually think i may know a lot more than i proclaim- so

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-2907800850570020582008-06-07T00:36:00.001-04:002008-06-07T00:44:55.962-04:00

ah, love. she really is everywhere. i am so grateful to be able to give her. i can't understand the lovely places she shows her face. i have been shown a love in all my life that is unlike anything. it can never be taken away. it's when you don't expect her. thats the kicker. when she has become a part of you in a different way than you know. or knew. or thought. ohhhhh. wait. THAT'S her?! yup.

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-36318608000527746782008-06-07T00:35:00.001-04:002008-06-07T00:36:50.735-04:00

we keep moving through all the everythings. once we decide we arn't reversing: time, age, memories, what was... we learn to only fully move in the only direction available to us. and once we get enough forward momentum there isn't energy left to give to what was. could have been. should have been. living in all that lets you pass by all the now. like the long beach to jfk jetblue direct flight.

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-63000967835605856342008-05-17T00:02:00.001-04:002008-05-17T00:02:38.980-04:00

i've heard it over and over again. not to me, and so i didnt give this phrase the attention it deserves:i'm not here to make you comfortable.and you refers to you, and you and you and me. i dont need to prove a thing to anyone. just give goodness. i will inspire- and i dont need to wait around trying to figure out how. it will just happen. its not gonna come in an email. its not gonna come in

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-61614382436116455302008-04-14T21:51:00.002-04:002008-04-14T21:51:52.917-04:00

as i wandered out of apartment for a tall soy chai at the starbucks around the corner in my pajamas and uggers, i realized i live in a neighborhood. some of the places on my block i go to multiple times a week. i see a lot of the same people. its a cool thing. i just had never taken the time to stop and really feel that until now. i dont drive there and i go through two doors and up 5 flights of

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-18996966834053582942008-04-04T23:04:00.006-04:002008-04-04T23:50:27.293-04:00

sometimes you have to fool yourself. you gotta tell yourself everything is ok when its not. and if you keep reminding yourself everyday- by the time it figures out the joke you are playing, things have made a turn for the better. funny how that works. they haven't turned yet, i'm still in the game... sometimes im sure i'm ahead and then i dont pass go. dont collect $200. damn it. but its really

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-67625517035569440022008-04-04T02:30:00.007-04:002008-04-04T02:58:40.994-04:00

la familiawe are in a constant battle of being what we think we need to be. and with what we think we are. and with what we think we should be. or could be. or with what we are not. and what we were but arnt really anymore. and through all of the time with our thoughts... they support us more than we could ever get a grasp on. unconditional love. even when we dont believe it. or think about it.

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-52780365081027110992008-03-31T20:46:00.002-04:002008-04-01T00:32:03.167-04:00

dont ask me i said dont ask medont you even ask mewhyi want a doughnut.i just do.hello. what?? oh. the doughnuts are not gonna happen. but i love the cake kind with the vanilla frosting and rainbow sprinkles. haha. shut up allison.its all complicated and weird. and you cant avoid it. so why try. thanks patty.well...i do try. so sue me. im sure we all try, in our own ways. but how can we not be

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-64713256511653446132008-02-26T00:05:00.002-05:002008-02-26T00:18:48.974-05:00

please.there was a time i was on top of the world. in a green volkswagen bug. with a sun roof. and i drove through the trees on my way... listening to a mix cd by a dear friend. in the ten months, i am pretty sure it was one of the only cds to play in my car. and we went to watch the show that gave you free sangria and cornbread. and deliciousness. and you knew you were watching history- no

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-70419540922637119052008-02-24T00:41:00.000-05:002008-02-24T00:42:03.568-05:00

ok. so i have a mac. and a tv. and a digital camera. and i have a myspace and facebook account that i check every day...i even have a friendster account (i know...i really dont check it, but it exists). i have an iphone that my gmail account sends its emails to every 5 seconds. and i love it. i actually love anything with an i in front of it. its automatically kind of amazing. i want a job real

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-16682608435851157282008-02-11T21:33:00.000-05:002008-02-11T22:21:00.492-05:00

OKAY. i get it. its actually geez lousie according to urbandictionary.com. and other people. but thats how i say it. so sue me. dont be mad. also, i bought chocolate covered peanut butter filled pretzals at trader joes today. so dont be mad again. ok lets get serious. haha. i promise i can be serious sometimes. sometimes. its exciting to know you have been working towards thinking a certain way-

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-5598391109355565012008-02-09T00:44:00.000-05:002008-02-11T20:49:02.965-05:00

sometimes something just feels right. something in us just lets us know. they dont give specifics, which is kind of fun. but they are also so smart. but the truth is, they don't know too much more than we do. i believe my instincts to be geniuses because they let me know. but they really just give me the first burst of knowing....cause thats all they can do. help us sense something is right, or

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-79148093213940495872008-02-06T22:09:00.000-05:002008-02-11T20:47:00.279-05:00

everythings gonna be ok. it has to be ok. so it will. and even though i have no idea how and in what way thats going to happen, i trust its gonna get there. im so fortunate. and i will get through it all. i am stronger than i know. i love harder than i know. but i secretly wanna giggle it all off. you know. dont be mad. im letting it all go to let it all in. here it goes.........

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-40452185553240601432008-01-31T17:45:00.000-05:002008-02-11T20:46:07.296-05:00

one can get a lot done during the columbus circle express stretch to the 125th street stop. and i was going to 145 (even better). if you close your eyes you get this really fun feeling of moving really fast knowing you're not going to get the sudden sway to one side anytime soon as you express pass. headphones in, eyes closed, backpack held tight, mind on- i couldn't help but remember some

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-56224650707310854032008-01-17T02:44:00.000-05:002008-02-11T20:45:13.532-05:00

"its just a little voice. and if you're listening~ sometimes a little voice can say the biggest things."dear life, i love you. love allison. i mean we are here. we are there. we are lost and found, just to find ourselves lost again. we learn lost to be a negative thing. but i think its another opportunity to find ourselves. or a part of us. or just an excuse to search. stuff is good, stuff is not

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-14660405716752070232008-01-04T20:09:00.000-05:002008-02-11T20:42:18.231-05:00

there is this woman i know. i have lived with her, grown with her... i have even lived inside of her. i am who i am today because of her. she has shown the most love i have seen capable of and she has proven herself the strongest being alive and she carries a wisdom i only dream of achieving. she is never caught un-caring. i think about her just about every other second of every day. she has

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-23759614406233100332007-12-20T23:42:00.000-05:002008-02-11T20:44:36.072-05:00

i am completely blown away to discover how similar the actions are that happen with amazing news and with devastating news. but the feeling is totally the same and totally different at the same time.so say im in the gap and my agent calls and tells me i got some amazing contract. we talk and talk and hang up the phone. i can barely contain myself and cant call mom and dad quickly enough. and as

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-30582502134211560972007-12-17T11:52:00.001-05:002007-12-17T12:00:12.181-05:00

its 3:33 and we are up. not sure why. but why not, i guess? i have a few things on my mind.a. time: time creeps up on me every second. i loose her and when i finally find her again she has run so fast i feel like i am in a new life. a new chapter of life. a new section or scene. and i get confused and question how i got here. how did it happen. and there sometimes is an answer or explanation. but

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-71212430253738230282007-12-17T11:51:00.002-05:002007-12-17T11:52:00.838-05:00

they are what they are i guess. there is no point in trying to fight with them, they will always win and loose at the same time. but so will you. re-think big decisions from the past and you will come up with a list of things, people, experiences you gained by not going one way and not the other. and if you would have gone the other way you would have a different list. but maybe the big things in

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-11576288505961610102007-12-17T11:51:00.001-05:002007-12-17T11:51:35.760-05:00

what if i was enough. what if this was all there is. and its incredible. what if i was always on the right path whether i knew it or not. what if i trusted myself enough to do anything i wanted. what if i was enough. what if i was to get really serious, work harder than i know how, love harder than that....and in the end still be able to laugh it off. honestly. what if i stopped saying dude all

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-81775982176383029742007-12-17T11:49:00.002-05:002007-12-17T11:51:01.653-05:00

oh my goodness. how is this happening? how am i being here right now. i am in my own movie that i have seen over a million times. i am here. i am happy. i am full of love and can't wait to give most of it away. i am so fortunate that all i can think to do is cry and cry and then laugh from crying. you are such a small speck in this infinate universe yet you want to change everyone for good. i

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-79004707502926718912007-12-17T11:49:00.001-05:002007-12-17T11:49:35.336-05:00

sometimes we need to run away. its often not looked upon as facing reality which makes it not ok. but i really believe that we need to sometimes run away in order to become completely lost only to search out our reality. you have to leave to come back home. or wherever you want to be. and sometimes you dont know where you want to be. only a better reason to become lost. i guess what is important

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-24465860188360861352007-12-17T11:47:00.000-05:002007-12-17T11:48:13.412-05:00

this is my space. not myspace like the billion dollar organization that frankly i love to play in. but MY space. my place. my den. my living room. my bed. my place. i can dance here. i can sing here. i can say EFF YOU here. :) i can cry here and laugh and fall over and skip and jump as high as i want and i am still safe. my words come from my heart-most of the time-and i put them out in the

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-2761972978848627252007-12-17T11:46:00.000-05:002007-12-17T12:01:33.470-05:00

"no i will never be a saint...but i will always say- squint your eyes and look closer"almost everyday it seems i've forgottenhow much time has actually passed by.the seasons keep me updated. as i walked home tonight i thought to myself,"its freezing!"and as the words created themselvesin my head, more words also overlappedwhile creating themselves at the same time,"wasn't it just summer?"can i

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-579235064410287692007-11-16T22:01:00.000-05:002007-11-16T22:25:54.861-05:00

we have to be proactive. you have to prove we are funnier than johnny. who's johnny? johnny a, johnny b, johnny c...yeah i know. what if we were watching ourselves right now, what would we think? we are always just another reality show, realizing itself just as fast as the other twenty two billion. we exist without most writing, except for the kind we can't help but hide under. and we want there

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-52118061324427981642007-11-10T01:22:00.000-05:002007-11-09T19:53:44.995-05:00

"i walked into your dream and now i've forgotten how to dream my own dream. black chariot for the redhead."she arrives back at the check point. it seems like its been forever since they last spoke. even so, they still seem to remember their language. but something is different now. maybe that's always how it always is, but they can never be too sure. sometimes it seems like a forgotten memory and

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-84380578975929236622007-11-09T20:40:00.000-05:002007-11-09T19:47:35.946-05:00

feb. 07"im gonna quit my job and move to new york. cause somebody told me thats where dreamers should go. im gonna quit my job and move to new york and tattoo my body with every broadway show"i definitly saw the person who wrote that walk out of the theatre i was in on my 4th and last night in nyc.....what is~ is. what will be~ will be. what was~ was. so theres no reason to worry, or overthink or

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-3272307197035191262007-11-09T17:22:00.000-05:002007-11-09T19:58:06.309-05:00

two twenty two oh seventhe moon smiled at me tonight. i mean... recently its been giving me small slivers of a smirk...but on the way home tonight, this 22nd night, it bloomed into its own big grin. and looked right at me. and i think that could have been the universe smiling at me... reminding me everything is going to be ok. when things feel weird or bad in life you have to remember that "the

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-40574504456343786702007-10-17T22:39:00.001-04:002007-10-17T23:07:53.790-04:00

"sights and sounds pull me back down another year. i was here..."the days have been beautiful. love getting up in the morning, pulling up the blinds, opening my window to greet another new pigeon on the firescape. and feeling what the air is like this day. i like e-mail a lot right now. why? no idea...so many opportunites could come over some satellite from whoever at any moment. weird. but kinda

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-23256666124286502122007-09-04T00:04:00.002-04:002007-09-04T00:05:05.852-04:00

and i am humbled i feel small and plain he loves with rhythm and paints with flame he comes in pieces with no name.Why do we make ourselves so impatient. We drive ourselves nuts over something that doesn't even belong to us a little bit. And the more distance there is the more questions appear....and thoughts fight eachother and pound at your skull yelling "let us out" but you don't respond

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-55973089923273085042007-09-04T00:04:00.001-04:002007-09-04T00:04:22.016-04:00

the future is no place to place your better days.You are great. And great seems pretty ordinary, but here, great is used as anything but. And can't help but wonder how much you know and what you do with what you know. Do you recycle? And if you do, do you separate the paper from the plastic from the aluminum from the garbage from the thoughts from the feelings from the friends from the lovers

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-37254509053206850292007-05-05T21:22:00.000-04:002007-05-05T18:33:33.398-04:00

i'll miss beer, minus the bear, briley and the sun on the porch. i'll miss tank tops in january. i'll miss looking out the window from my bed. i'll miss being bold or going home. i'll miss the forest. i'll miss video chat from 5 buildings away. i'll miss uncomfortable benches. i'll miss the lessons. i'll miss the horrible carpet. i'll miss first watch. i'll miss brendas porch that i've yet to

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-48721498200617597462007-03-10T14:22:00.000-05:002007-03-10T11:39:14.802-05:00

"i made up my mind when i was a young girl, that given this one whirl, i wont worry it away... now and again i loose sight of the good life, i get stuck in the low life....then love comes in"there must come a point, or many points, in one's life where you wake up and look around and realize that your current state of mind, activities and motivation actually are NOT going to get you where you are

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-60871707136263080202007-02-19T10:44:00.000-05:002007-02-19T10:58:48.973-05:00

"what did you do out there... what did you decide?"what was~ was. what will be~ will be. what is~ is.yep, that statement definitly deserved its own blogger. but isn't it funny how casual "is".... is? but how much power it actually has....i am happy. i am here. now. i am just be-ing. we have so much more control when we let it all go and let the universe do all the work. i am in love with that

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-17576980760802485382007-02-11T23:24:00.000-05:002007-02-12T00:13:49.093-05:00

"i get a little warm in my heart when i think of...."so this blog is going to be about memories. ok well i dont aaaactually know what this blog is going to be about....it always kinda takes its own path as it gets written- but what i mean is that parts of it will stem from memories because it was a memory that got me to the blogger....um, and when this came to my attention, the whole memory thing

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-71429513950107721322007-01-24T21:44:00.000-05:002007-01-24T22:58:46.313-05:00

"i do it for the joy it brings....cause i am a joyful girl. cause the world owes me nothing, and we owe eachother the world"i didnt know what to call this post, but when i decided on "not sure" (cause i wasnt really sure what this blog was going to be) i remembered i have a sara bareilles song in my itunes called "not sure" cause i dont know the title of the song, but its one of my faves. is what

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-77937823171842221762007-01-22T20:22:00.000-05:002007-01-23T12:43:22.775-05:00

wow. back to the blogger. 3 months have gone by and it is january 22 and the world is wonderful.a lot has happened since the twenty second three months ago, and i have learned a lot about what i was writing about months ago. and now i cant help but trust that the world knows what its doing and to enjoy the ride and try not to worry about things, especially those things you cannot control. you are

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-1161558429403082552006-10-22T18:38:00.000-04:002006-10-22T19:49:43.666-04:00

with all the events that are constantly happening, and as it seems, more constantly changing, i cant help but be inspired. growing up i was taught ideas....and as i grew up i found my own ideas about things. but i must give credit to the people who taught me what they did, because in the end i was eventually allowed to discover my own ideas, thoughts and feelings. the more and more i know and

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-1161052700801144172006-10-16T21:59:00.000-04:002006-10-16T22:40:35.160-04:00

"silly me, look what i did again. i found what i want is what i cannot have.... i didn't mean to be so predictable, but i blame all on who made you irresistable"so love triangles dont only happen in the movies. you dont really realize you are at the point of one until you sit back and look at the situation. and i am absolutely in that triangle. whoops. and people say i should be happy to feel

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-1159934053545140882006-10-03T23:39:00.000-04:002006-10-04T00:08:27.340-04:00

"love, i get so lost sometimes. so much wasted, and this emptiness fills my heart. when i want to run away, i drive off in my car... but which ever way i go, i come back to the place you are."you arn't looking for anything. you might secretly want something, but you allow other things to fill up your time and energy. then, without notice, what you wanted is yours, and you didnt even really know

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-1159756062943459282006-10-01T22:13:00.000-04:002006-10-01T22:41:34.390-04:00

"and i think when you grow up surrounded by willful ignorance, you have to believe that mercy has its own country, and that its round and borderless...."all of a sudden one question threw us on the path of my life thus far. i think the stars are skipping in funny alignments right now, because it seems like the universe is throwing so much at me right now. i am remembering home so much....and life

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35314385.post-1159651135630439502006-09-30T17:01:00.000-04:002006-09-30T17:22:06.813-04:00

"just show me a moment that is mine. its beauty, blinding and unsurpassed. make me forget every moment that went by and left me so half-hearted cause i felt it so half-assed."because i learn something new about me everyday, my opinions and loves and fears and words change as i grow. sometimes the roots get cut from underneath me impairing my balance. other times water is poured into their souls

tiny dancernoreply@blogger.com0