hey, stranger

"and i think when you grow up surrounded by willful ignorance, you have to believe that mercy has its own country, and that its round and borderless...."

all of a sudden one question threw us on the path of my life thus far. i think the stars are skipping in funny alignments right now, because it seems like the universe is throwing so much at me right now. i am remembering home so much....and life events that changed my life. i got thrown back into a time that, when i try to look back and remember why or how that chapter of my life came to be, i cant.

chapters of life are so seriously incredible to me. one year you are this person...and the next you are that person. and you have to believe that there is still a core part of YOU that has stayed the same, but when you are drawn into these different past lives, you look so hard to find that part of you now that lived in that time, and shes lost. you pass by an apartment you used to hang out all the time and you are immediately drawn back to that time. you FEEL it. a song puts me in that place, too. i wish i knew how that worked.

but you visit that chapter of time, and then you feel funny abut it for a while. and to believe that everything DOES happen for a reason helps you get through it... but you cant help but be curious why. will you ever feel like this or that person again? and all of these chapters are making up your novel.... and i know i want to read it when its finished... but its like i didnt have a choice as to what material i wanted in it. i guess thats why your life experience is so precious -- things you would have NEVER thought could be written in, somehow get there, and the ink is permanent. when i look back at the stories, the tales, the lessons, the proud moments of success, whatever that is to you, i wouldnt have it any other way because no one else gets my novel. no one else gets me....yet. i want to share so much with the world, but i am afraid they wouldnt understand so much, or maybe i am just not giving them enough credit.

"then you have to grow wings and rise above...."