thankful grateful love.

oh my goodness. how is this happening? how am i being here right now. i am in my own movie that i have seen over a million times. i am here. i am happy. i am full of love and can't wait to give most of it away. i am so fortunate that all i can think to do is cry and cry and then laugh from crying. you are such a small speck in this infinate universe yet you want to change everyone for good. i cant help but contribute just about all of it to this unbelievable love from the family. and the friends who have become the family. and the people...the person that will become part of the family. for where i've been. for where i am. for what i will be, try to be, fail at being. for who i love. for who i will love. for situations. for emotionally giving. for sadness. for people. for animals. for weenie dogs. for the sky and the clouds that constantly shift and say. for all that has inspired me. for inspiration in its most undefinable way. for the west village. for love. for love. for love. for trying to understand. for trying to be. for being. for asking you to join me. here we are. we grew up and living the lives we want to live. well we should be....when else will it be but now. just BE. just GO. just DO and LOVE it all because we dont know where we are going. and if there are things and people and who or whatever that you love now why not fight for them. and fight hard because who knows. anything. i know that at this moment i cant even begin to express how grateful i am for what life has been so far. its been amazing. i am so excited for this. i want to know more. but know i cant know more now. and i love being okay with that. and also not being ok with that at all. what can you do. i wish every one of the billion trillion beings and souls there are that exist...i wish SOMETHING wonderful to them. everyone is deserving of this. i just wish it upon everyone so much. whoever wished this before me should know its reached me. and im working through it and loving it and hating it. through all the shit and all the love and amazingness i have been so fortunate and wish i could begin to express how thankful and lucky and loved and grateful i have felt.