soomie.

i feel like i want to graduate to a new blog. or something. its been a while since i've written steadily. i know its not for lack of material, emotion or experience. maybe it was summer vacation and i'm in a new grade. whatever it may be, its all begun again, i believe. i mean, why not? i haven't really a clue whats happening in life- ok i actually think i may know a lot more than i proclaim- so sue me. but looking back a few months and skipping ahead to now... its all new. its like how different you become, or don't, but experience from age 18 to 19 to 20 to 21 to 22....and maybe it just never stops. sometimes you are growing alone, sometimes by the side of friends, lovers, cast mates...always in the company of the universe. trusting it all the time, but bad mouthing it once in a while because of something else unrelated that made you mad. however, the trust carries with you- how can it not? i look around in amazement. the appearances of beautiful people- that i get to actually talk to. and hug. and cry to. and be there for. and LAUGH A LOT. its really the best thing. i am fascinated, giggly, searching, thankful and terrified on a daily basis. and i think as inconsistent as it is, i like it this way. so sue me. and i know shit happens. this isnt a secret. it may be a lesson. i cant promise it will go away. but i can promise we can always make it through. if you are having a hard time believing come find me. i will always be here for you to remind you and make you re-believe. keep trusting. trust me. what a powerful world we live in- full of so many beings searching for power or wondering if it exists or bad mouthing it- but what if we have power by simply being. maybe giving that much simplicity to something takes away the power to have something to worry about. i dont actually know if i know what i am saying anymore. SUE ME. i am pretty sure i have too many thoughts, feelings, emotions...all still in discovery mode. but i am kind of obsessed with it all. so sue me.